Making Sense of the Men in Your Life by Kevin Leman

Author:Kevin Leman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
Published: 2010-04-12T00:00:00+00:00

10

Sexual Fulfillment

Doctor, I gotta tell you; I think I could have sex with my husband twice a day and it still wouldn't be enough. I want to please him, I really do. I just don't think it's possible!"

"Alice" came to me confused about the quantity of sex she suspected her husband wanted to experience. One hour later, she left my office thinking not about quantity, but about quality.

Everything I talked about in the previous chapter could possibly mislead you. I'm not simply saying, "You need to have sex with your husband more often." Your husband's greatest need in marriage isn't to have more sex. Nor is it more money, better-tasting food, or more respect. Your husband truly desires sexual fulfillment.

That men typically want more sex isn't much of a secret. Why men want more sex often is. A lot of women feel the way Alice does: "No matter how much sex I give my husband, he'll want more!" But if you talk to the husband, he'll likely respond, "If the quality of my sex life was better, and I had a wife who occasionally initiated sex so I didn't always have to bring it up, and who was more assertive and aggressive when we did have sex, I think I'd need it much less. I just want to know that she really wants me."

That last line—"I just want to know that she really wants me"—is the key to understanding male sexual desire. Let me bring you in on a little male secret: the biggest sexual turn-on for healthy men is the emotional one. There's nothing like seeing your wife thoroughly enjoying herself in the midst of sexual relations. Realizing that you can bring your wife pleasure—even ecstasy—is tremendously fulfilling emotionally. It makes you feel like a man.

That's why I think God knew what He was doing when He made women the way they are. Many men have told me they sometimes get jealous of their wives' orgasms. Because of the way you ladies are built, you can be at a sexual peak seemingly forever. Some wives can practically wake up the man on the moon if they're experiencing a good orgasm, while we men are forced to content ourselves with about six seconds of pleasure. Granted, they are pleasurable seconds.

Leman's Law #24:

Men don't just crave the physical release in sex.

They hunger for the emotional fulfillment that comes

from pleasing their wives sexually.

Since men are physical beings, it shouldn't be a surprise that we express our fulfillment physically.

All of this explains my emphasis on a man's wanting sexual fulfillment, not just sex. There's a major difference between the two. A "willing" wife tells her husband, "All right, Honey, go ahead, but please pull my nightie down when you're finished. And let's hurry it up. The kids might wake up." An "eager" wife shows her sexual hunger and enjoyment. A man will choose the latter every time. He would probably choose having sex with an eager wife once a week over having sex with a merely willing wife once a day.

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